.it’s my choice.

.yes, I’m single and no, I don’t need a boyfriend.

Working abroad or on cruise ships is amazing in many ways. You meet people from all around the world. Maybe from nationalities you never met before, you see a lot but you also learn a lot from the people around you. (If you’re open of course).

What I often realize is how surprised people are when they ask me if I have a boyfriend and I smile and say “Nope”.

– “But why? You’re sucha beautiful girl?”

First of all, that’s kind of insulting. So if I don’t have a boyfriend there has to be something wrong with me?! And clearly you made sure that I’m “beautiful enough” to have one, so it must be something else… is she crazy?

The answer is – it’s my choice. I don’t need a boyfriend right now. And even if I did, I wouldn’t just go out and “get one”. It’s not a new dress. I also believe that if you feel a strong need to meet someone, you wont be open enough to make a perfect match. The perfect match just happens. No desperation involved. The best relationships I had where with guys I met by accident. Somehow we crossed each others way and clicked.

I’m not a “hunter” and I don’t jump from relationship to relationship. A lot of people do and there’s not really anything wrong with that, I have some friend that never stay alone. They’re never single. Maybe it’s the fear of being alone or maybe it just happens that way… But the thing that annoys me is the way the society has decided that you should be with someone all the time. And how it has to be something wrong with you if you’re not. Why would it be wrong?

.it’s all or nothing for me.

I don’t do these “half relationships” things. My life is too short for that. I have so many things I want to do in my life so I need to stay focused. So if I’m with someone I go all in, or I’m alone. Easy.

.alone doesn’t mean loneliness.

I think it’s about time that we value our “alone time” more. After all, alone doesn’t mean loneliness. Learning to be alone might sound scary for some people but once you get use to it it’s so important for your development and growth as a human being. You will gain so much by being able to trust your inner voice. To not let other people make your decisions in life.

It’s a fact that learning to be alone will help you in a relationship, since you know exactly what you need and want from it. Some people let their partners influence them so much that in the end they basically tell them what to feel, what they wanna do or what they want. You probably had a friend like that, a really good friend who gets a new partner and they change completely and you are most likely not friends today.

So basically if you haven’t learned how to have a healthy relationship with yourself you will never have one with others.

So stop feeling sorry for me, I don’t 😉

.love.kärlek.liebe.heidi.


7 thoughts on “.it’s my choice.

  1. So true, Heidi!!! I truley believe, that if you cannot be happy by yourself, you won’t be happy in a relationship. I would nit like to be in the position to be responible of somebodys Lifehappieness and either would I like to put somebody into this position. Thx for your post, and keep enjoying every day that is given!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo Dominika

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for this amazing post!! I actually never been in a relationship yet, even though I’m 21. So everyone kept asking “Do you have a boyfriend? Why not? What’s wrong?” and all the bother made me feel like there really has to be something wrong with me. But still, I was never looking for a partner and I never felt lonely. How could I be? I have family and friends and that’s all I need at the moment. I may do whatever I want! I can go on vacation wherever I want, I can be spontaneous about my plans for the weekend, I’m independent and I’m free. Thanks a lot for showing me that I’m not wrong at all! ❤ They're wrong with bothering me! 😀

    Like

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